


Nagito shouldn’t have started all this

by ungodlyafterlife



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: F/F, F/M, Hajime is done with everyone’s shit, Ibuki is a lesbian btw, Izuru and Hajime are separate entities, M/M, Multi, No-Despair AU, Update: Ibuki and Fuyuhiko are both dating the most beautiful girls, chatfic, enjoy, no beta we die like men, probably kinda ooc, they’re on the island though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-07-08 07:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15925718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ungodlyafterlife/pseuds/ungodlyafterlife
Summary: Nagito makes a group chat with all his classmates on the island plus Hajime and Izuru.. things go,, about as well as you’d think





	1. “Nagito you fucker”

Saturday 2:00pm  
[Nagito Komaeda has added Hajime Hinata and 15 others to a group chat]

[ Gundham Tanaka has named the group “hell” ]

[ Nagito Komaeda has renamed ‘Gundham Tanaka’ to ‘Hamster Cultist’ ]

Hamster Cultist: Foolish mortal.

[Hamster Cultist renamed ‘Nagito Komaeda’ to ‘Twink Lord’]

Sonia Nevermind: As they say, “Oh snAP”

[Twink Lord renamed ‘Sonia Nevermind’ to “Would fuck a serial killer”]

Kazuichi Souda: Miss Sonia would never do something so lewd!!

Would fuck a serial killer: Never again,,

Kazuichi Souda: aaaaAaaAAAAAA 8O

[Ibuki Mioda has renamed ‘Kazuichi Souda’ to ‘Strawberry Fanta®️’]

Strawberry Fanta®️: HeY what was that for!?

[Strawberry Fanta®️has renamed ‘Ibuki Mioda’ to ‘My Little Pony™️’ ]

My Little Pony™️: Ibuki can’t argue with this name 

Strawberry Fanta®️: hnnnn

Byakuya Togami: Must you all be so foolish immediately? 

[Twink Lord renamed ‘Byakuya Togami’ to ‘Absolute Unit Primary’]

Twink Lord: Take it as a compliment

Absolute Unit Primary: Okay, well,, Thank you?

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu: You bastards forgot something crucial

[Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu renamed ‘Hajime Hinata’ to ‘Twink Prince’]

Twink Prince: Thanks.... I appreciate it...... //note the sarcasm//

Peko Pekoyama: Don’t worry, I’ll handle this

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu: Fuck! Peko don’t do it!

[Peko Pekoyama renamed ‘Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu’ to ‘Boss Baby’]

Boss Baby: Fuck..

[Boss Baby renamed ‘Peko Pekoyama’ to ‘Sword Babe’]

Boss Baby: Just so you know I’m not really upset with you

Chiaki Nanami: I’m with Peko right now and she’s blushing like mad so I think you’re okay Fuyuhiko

Boss Baby: Thanks Chiaki

[Twink Prince has renamed ‘Chiaki Nanami’ to ‘Game Goddess’]

Sword Babe: Oh now she’s blushing

Mikan Tsumiki: aaaa is Chiaki okay?!

Sword Babe: Yes she’s just blushing,,, a lot

Mikan Tsumiki: Oh okay, I hope I didn’t bother anyone!! 

Hiyoko Saionji: Of course you did pig barf

Mikan Tsumiki: eeeeekk pig barf!?

Mahiru Koizumi: Stop it Hiyoko.

Hiyoko Saionji: But Mahiruuuu...

Mahiru Koizumi: No.

[Boss Baby renamed ‘Hiyoko Saionji’ to ‘Whiny Bitch’]

[Boss Baby renamed ‘Mahiru Koizumi’ to ‘The Gremlin Wrangler’]

Whiny Bitch: Ughh screw you 

Sword Babe: Sorry but he has me for that.

Would fuck a serial killer: Kinky

Strawberry Fanta®️: MISS SONIA!?

Boss Baby: Babe why??

[Game Goddess renamed ‘Mikan Tsumiki’ to ‘Hella Nurse’]

Game Goddess: I’m sure she just felt like shutting down Hiyoko. Making you flustered was just a bonus.

Hella Nurse: I hope I don’t bother anyone by interjecting but I agree with Chiaki!

Sword Babe: Yeah she’s right

Boss Baby: Peko I’m coming for you

Game Goddess: He just walked into the room and immediately started gushing about how great she is 

Game Goddess: Here come the tears

Game Goddess: Now they’re both cuddling on the couch,, I think they’ve forgotten I’m here

Twink Prince: Don’t worry Chiaki you can come hang out with me

Game Goddess: OMW

 

Sunday 7:30am  
Akane Owari: Where’s the food??? I’m starving!

Teruteru Hanamura: I’m still getting it prepped but if you’d like to come to the restaurant early I could give you a sneak taste ;)

[Teruteru Hanamura renamed ‘Akane Owari’ to ‘Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal’]

[Nekomaru Nidai renamed ‘Teruteru Hanamura’ to ‘Pervert Chef’]

Nekomaru Nidai: Akane!! We should train before breakfast! 

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal: On my way Nekomaru! I’ll meet you at the beach!

[Absolute Unit Primary renamed ‘Nekomaru Nidai’ to ‘Absolute Unit #2’]

Absolute Unit Primary: You deserve to share this title with me. It’s an honor.

Izuru Kamukura: And then God descended from the heavens and declared “This will be covered by the fake news”

[Twink Lord renamed ‘Izuru Kamukura’ to ‘God but Meme’]

Strawberry Fanta®️: Oh shit Nagito do you have a duckin death wish?!

Strawberry Fanta®️: *duckin

Strawberry Fanta®️: *duck

Strawberry Fanta®️: *I give up

God but Meme: I rather like this, thank you bunny

Twink Lord: It’s an honor babe

Strawberry Fanta®️: WhaaaAAaaaaAAAAAAAA!?!?

Twink Prince: You didn’t know they were together??? 

Strawberry Fanta®️: ….

 

Sunday 1:47pm

Boss Baby: Oh my fuckin god

God but Meme: You called?


	2. “Parties form Teruteru’s demise”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit a party
> 
> User list:  
> Byakuya: Absolute unit Primary  
> Akane: Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal  
> Hajime: Twink prince  
> Chiaki: Game Goddess  
> Fuyuhiko: Boss Baby  
> Gundham: Hamster Cultist  
> Hiyoko: Whiny bitch  
> Ibuki: My little pony ™  
> Kazuichi: Strawberry Fanta ®  
> Mahiru: The Gremlin Wrangler  
> Mikan: Hella nurse  
> Nagito: Twink lord  
> Nekomaru: Absolute unit #2  
> Peko: Sword babe  
> Sonia: Would fuck a serial killer  
> Teruteru: Pervert Chef  
> Izuru: God but Meme

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my friendo TT for helping me out with this cursed nonsense
> 
> //Also this chapter has a bit more swearing and suggestive language but nothing explicit is described//

Sunday 6:00pm

My Little Pony™️: Ibuki is hosting a party tonight! Meet in the performance center at 7:15pm!

My Little Pony™️: @Pervert Chef bring the food by a bit early okay!?

Pervert Chef: Of course ;)

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal: Food?! Count me in!!

Boss Baby: Don’t count on me coming,,

Sword Babe: He’s coming with me

Boss Baby: …

Would fuck a serial killer: I’ll be attending!

Strawberry Fanta®️: If Miss Sonia is going I’ll be there!

Hamster Cultist: I will be escorting the dark lady.

Strawberry Fanta®️: hnnnn

Game Goddess: Hajime and I will be there..I think

Twink Prince: We’ll be there.

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal: Nekomaru crushed his phone but he said he’ll be there

Twink Lord: Someone like me doesn’t deserve to party with glorious ultimates like you all (minus Hajime)

God but Meme: Nagito, darling, you are absolutely deserving to be with us (to be fair you’re the only one here that’s not completely boring) so you’re definitely going to the party and I will escort you to be sure of it

Twink Lord: …. Have I ever told you how great you are?

God but Meme: All the time

Hella Nurse: I hope it doesn’t bother anyone but I’m planning on going..

Whiny Bitch: Of course you’ll bother someone dumb thot! You’ll bother me!!

The Gremlin Wrangler: Hiyoko stop bullying Mikan. If you don’t you’re not going to the party.

Whiny Bitch: ughhhh 

Absolute Unit Primary: That was….. chaotic. I’d like to place my rsvp too so I’ll be there albeit a bit late.

 

Sunday 7:48pm

Twink Prince: IZURU YOU FUCKER!! YOU AND YOUR EXHIBITIONIST BOY TOY NEED TO STOP FUCKING IN RANDOM PLACES GOD DAMN

Twink Prince: CHIAKI JUST WALKED INTO YOU FUCKING IN THE STORAGE ROOM HAVE SOME CLASS

God but Meme: No.

Strawberry Fanta®️: Who the fuck is screaming so loud?!

Boss Baby: Look up in the chat bastard.

Strawberry Fanta®️: …… Oh….

 

Sunday 7:56pm

Would fuck a serial killer: Congratulations Nagito, Izuru, but could you please not do that in a public access area

Twink Lord: The door was closed,,, unfortunately 

Twink Prince: @God but Meme Come get your mans

God but Meme: You should be thanking me

Pervert Chef: @Twink Lord , @God but Meme,,, Wanna make it a three way next time??

Twink Lord: Oh I’d lo-

God but Meme: Nagito, no fucking way

Pervert Chef: Damn…

 

Sunday 8:24pm

Sword Babe: Who would’ve thought Mikan was such a hot pole dancer?

Strawberry Fanta®️: Almost as beautiful as Miss Sonia would look,, 

Would fuck a serial killer: Shut your whore mouth

God but Meme: She’s got The Ass™️

Game Goddess: I would tap that

Boss Baby: Fuckin same,, no offense Peko

Sword Babe: None taken, if given the chance I would smash her too

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal: HOT DAMN

Hamster Cultist: Our lady of dark potions seems to have the seduction levels of a high succubus

Would fuck a serial killer: Translation- Mikan is sexy as fuck

My Little Pony™️: Ibuki didn’t think she could get gayer but she was wrong

Absolute Unit #2: I don’t think it’s respectful to talk about Mikan like this without her permission

Absolute Unit #2: and I respect women or my name isn’t NEKOMARU NIDAI !

Pervert Chef: Now that’s a spicy piece of meat ;)

 

Sunday 8:30pm

Twink Prince: So THAT’S why Nekomaru punched Teruteru

 

Sunday 8:34pm

Hella Nurse: @Sword Babe, @Boss Baby,, I’ll take you up on that offer if you want

Sword Babe: Tomorrow, Fuyuhiko’s cottage, meet us around 9pm

Sword Babe: @Boss Baby Be prepared ;)

Twink Prince: Why does Fuyuhiko look like he’s about to implode?

Twink Prince: …………...oH

 

Sunday 9:00pm

My Little Pony™️: We should all play 7 minutes in heaven!

Twink Prince: Too bad Nagito and Izuru can’t play,, they already got their turns

God but Meme: What’s a few more rounds?

Twink Lord: ^^^

Game Goddess: ANYWAY….

Game Goddess: How about Never Have I Ever?

My Little Pony™️: Ohhhhh fine!

Would fuck a serial killer: Ooo! I will play

Strawberry Fanta®️: I’ll play since Miss Sonia’s playing

Absolute Unit Primary: I see it was smart to head back to my cottage early

Hamster Cultist: With the power of my Four Dark Devas of Destruction I will annihilate you all!!

Twink Lord: Oh sure I’ll play

God but Meme: ^

The Gremlin Wrangler: Hiyoko and I will not be joining you all, we’re heading to her cottage to watch a few movies

Boss Baby: @Sword Babe Are you playing?

Sword Babe: I am, are you? Or are you going to be a coward?

Boss Baby: Oh fuck you. I’m in.

Sword Babe: Don’t forget about tomorrow ;)

Hella Nurse: I’ll join you all,, if that’s alright

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal: Of course it’s okay Mikan, you’re like the ultimate babe

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal: Sounds like fun! I’ll play too

Absolute Unit #2: Teambuilding is a good idea, I’ll also play

Twink Prince: I guess I have to join now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are hopefully going to be frequent


	3. “Never have I ever avoided chaos”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party continues... thottily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again TT

Sunday 9:16pm  
Game Goddess: We’re playing with one hand, so only 5 fingers

Twink Prince: Never have I ever fucked in a storage closet.

Absolute Unit #2: I’ll post the results for those who aren’t here

Absolute Unit #2: Izuru, Nagito, Peko, Fuyuhiko, Sonia, Gundham, Chiaki, and Mikan have all put a finger down 

Twink Prince: What the fuck guys

God but Meme: See? We’re not the only ones.

Game Goddess: Never have I ever enjoyed being stepped on.

Absolute Unit #2: Nagito, Fuyuhiko, and Mikan have all put another finger down

Sword Babe: Never have I ever fantasized about Nekomaru

Absolute Unit #2: Akane and Nagito have both put a finger down

God but Meme: Wow you cracked him, Nekomaru’s blushing

Twink Lord: Never have I ever *NOT* been a thirsty bitch

Absolute Unit #2: I’m the only one that put a finger down for this

Boss Baby: Never have I ever thirsted over Izuru

Absolute Unit #2: Nagito, Mikan, Peko, and Gundham have put a finger down for this one

God but Meme: I wasn’t expecting Peko or Gundham to put a finger down

Hella Nurse: Never have I ever been dominant

Absolute Unit #2: Peko, Gundham, Sonia, Chiaki, Hajime, Izuru, and I have all put a finger down

Twink Prince: Nagito stop drooling

Absolute Unit #2: Never have I ever skipped leg day

Absolute Unit #2: Nagito and Sonia have both put a finger down.. I am disappointed

God but Meme: Never have I ever been submissive

Absolute Unit #2: Akane, Hajime, Chiaki, Fuyuhiko, Gundham, Mikan, Nagito, Ibuki and Sonia have all put a finger down 

God but Meme: Cowards

Twink Prince: Excuse you, not everyone here has a partner who could qualify for the “Ultimate Sub” title

Twink Lord: He’s not wrong

Absolute Unit #2: Nagito’s already lost the game so here are the scores 

Absolute Unit #2: Ibuki put down 1 finger, Akane, Hajime, Izuru and I put down 2 fingers, Chiaki, Peko, and Fuyuhiko put down 3 fingers, Gundham, Mikan, and Sonia put down 4 fingers, Nagito put down all 5 fingers so he lost

Game Goddess: I would say I’m surprised but let’s be real,, Nagito’s a thot

Twink Lord: Well,, you’re right

 

Monday 9:30am

Absolute Unit Primary: Looking through last night’s chat log was a mistake. I didn’t need to know all this.

Twink Lord: ;)

Twink Prince: God damn it Nagito

God but Meme: Hmm?


	4. “Rope, shorts, Gay shutdowns”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay chaos,, but let’s be real that’s most of the fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a bit longer than the others because I got stuck for a bit but it’s here so enjoy!

Monday 4:23pm

God but Meme: Who took all the rope from the market? 

Boss Baby: Why do you want to know bastard?

God but Meme: I see,, next time leave at least a few rolls.

[Twink Prince has renamed ‘God but Meme’ to ‘God but Thot’]

God but Thot: Bitch

[God but Thot has renamed ‘God but Thot’ to ‘God but Meme’]

Twink Prince: hnn

Whiny Bitch: Why are you being so defensive Fuyuhiko? 

Boss Baby: ….bitch

Pervert Chef: ;)

Sword Babe: Teruteru you got kicked out of the party last night and you’re still at your bullshit

Pervert Chef: Absolutely, that’s my character trope

Twink Lord: Awww.. it’s really all gone?? That sucks

Pervert Chef: ;)

Twink Prince: Nagito can you stop being a thot for even five seconds?!

Twink Lord: Is that really something people are capable of?

God but Meme: Not you

 

Monday 8:47pm

Sword Babe: I really hope these walls are soundproof

 

Tuesday 12:08am

Strawberry Fanta®️: CAN YOU THOTS STOP WITH THE NOISE!? I CAN’T SLEEP!

Tuesday 8:14am

Pervert Chef: You all went that long?? ;)

Game Goddess: Actually Mikan came to ask for a copy of Mario Kart and invited me to play with her, Fuyuhiko, and Peko. Around midnight they were all yelling at me for “cheating” because I won again.

Boss Baby: There is NO FUCKIN WAY you won 14 rounds in a row without cheats!

Strawberry Fanta®️: I beat Chiaki in Mario Kart a few times

Game Goddess: Actually you built a robot to play me for you so that doesn’t count

Strawberry Fanta®️: UGHH CAN YOU JUST LET ME HAVE THIS GOD DAMN

God but Meme: Absolutely not

 

Tuesday 10:20am

Boss Baby: Peko did I ever tell you how much I love you?

Boss Baby: F U C K

Boss Baby: Wrong chat…

My Little Pony™️: Awwwwwwww

Sword Babe: <3

 

Tuesday 12:19pm

My Little Pony™️: GOD IM SO GAY

God but Meme: I see,,,

My Little Pony™️: SOMEONE HELP ME ASK OUT MIKAN!!1!11

Hella Nurse: Uhhh..

Hamster Cultist: I see our lesbian of the doomed screams has forgotten that the lady of dark potions is still in this chat in her gay panic,,

Sword Babe: Well Mikan are you going to recognize that she just indirectly confessed?

Hella Nurse: *Mikan.rx has stopped functioning due to overload of gay*

Sword Babe: Wow,,, @Boss Baby our girlfriend needs to learn how to function with her gay

Boss Baby: As if you’re not exploding because you wanted to ask Ibuki out

Sword Babe: I-

My Little Pony™️: *Ibuki.scrm has stopped working, reload in a higher functioning lesbian program*

Twink Lord: I guess those gays are out of commission now

Twink Lord: @God but Meme,, we’re the only functional ones babe

God but Meme: You don’t get to say that seconds after you were panicking over how I am “absolutely stunning and gorgeous in those fucking shorts holy hell I'm going to die”,, your words not mine

Twink Lord: *Nagito.trsh has stopped working*

Game Goddess: @God but Meme,, Did you get new shorts?

God but Meme: No actually,, he’s seen these before. He just does the same thing every time I wear them.

Twink Prince: YOU’RE WEARING **THOSE** !?!!

God but Meme: Yeah, 

Twink Prince: You better change before you leave your room,

Twink Prince: Or Nagito’s room,, I never know where you sleep anymore

God but Meme: What will you do if I don’t,,, brother?

Twink Prince: ………. I’ll figure something out

 

Tuesday 2:08pm

Strawberry Fanta®️: Anyone know what that was about?

Absolute Unit Primary: No idea but it might be best not to get involved.

Absolute Unit #2: Agreed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know if I should add the weird poly crackship to the tags or leave it untagged? Also,, I’m thinking about making a poll form to see what you all might be interested in seeing in this fic,, should I?? Let me know in the comments?


	5. “A study in weed is a study in betrayal”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when I open the tab to 420 hits 
> 
> This is your fault

Tuesday 9:49pm

Boss Baby: Sleep Bitches

 

Wednesday 7:50am

Strawberry Fanta®️: I found some weed in the back of the supermarket. Who wants to get high as hell?

Absolute Unit #2: As an athlete and team manager I can not approve of myself or others taking part in this.

Strawberry Fanta®️: Soooo anyway who’s down?

Would fuck a serial killer: No thank you

Hamster Cultist: As the supreme overlord I must not taint my current form with toxins from the forbidden devil plant

Would fuck a serial killer: Translation: No

Boss Baby: That’s some low end shit come over to my cottage later I’ve got the good kush

Boss Baby:@Sword Babe, @My Little Pony™️, @Hella Nurse,, wanna join?

Sword Babe: Sure

My Little Pony™️: Hell yeah!

Hella Nurse: Ibuki you might damage your voice with the smoking!

My Little Pony™️: Nevermind I’ll hang out though

Hella Nurse: I’ll hang around so you all don’t die

 

Wednesday 3:00pm

Twink Prince: Where’s Chiaki?

God but Meme: *eyes emoji*

Twink Lord: *eyes emoji*

Game Goddess: *eyes emoji*

Twink Prince: Damn it

 

Wednesday 3:20pm

Boss Baby: If you want the good stuff come by my cottage in an hour

 

Wednesday 4:19pm

God but Meme: It’s time.

 

Wednesday 4:21pm

Hella Nurse: aaaaaa Why’d you kick the door down!?!

Game Goddess: Hand over those blunts bitches

Twink Lord: ^ ^ ^ ^

God but Meme: ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

Strawberry Fanta®️: Jeeez… Who even invited you?

God but Meme: I’m god I don’t require an invite. Now do as the goddess says,,, bitch

Whiny Bitch: UGHHHH IT SMELLS!!1!1

Whiny Bitch: SOMEONE GET THAT SMELL AWAY I CAN SMELL IT FROM MAHIRU’S COTTAGE EWWWW

Boss Baby: Shut up bitch

 

Wednesday 5:30pm

Game Goddess: HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO BETTER AT THIS THAN ME!?!?

God but Meme: ;)

Twink Lord: ;)

Twink Prince: WHAT HAVE YOU TWO DONE TO MAKE CHIAKI USE CAPS LOCK

Sword Babe: We’re playing Mario Party and they’re abusing their luck

Twink Prince: :/

Twink Lord: ;*

Game Goddess: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Strawberry Fanta®️: OH SHIT SHE’S GOT A GUN!!!11!1

Strawberry Fanta®️: OH FUCK SHE SHOT IZURU!!!

Strawberry Fanta®️: He looks,,,moist??

God but Meme: Was I really supposed to be intimidated by that water gun?

Game Goddess: Y E S

God but Meme: Too bad

Game Goddess: >: (

Twink Lord: Ahhh my boyfriend is so talented,,, :D

Twink Lord: Of course he saw through that as the Ultimate Analyst :)

Twink Lord: Such shining hope!!

God but Meme: Will you shut up if I promise hickeys next time

Twink Lord: :)

My Little Pony™️: GAYYYYYYYY

Twink Prince: Can you two ever stop being irritating thots??

God but Meme: No

Twink Lord: No

Game Goddess: Pass me a blunt…

Boss Baby: Sure hold on

 

Wednesday 6:50pm

Twink Prince: Why did I just see almost everyone running to the lobby?

My Little Pony™️: We just found out that Kazuichi set up a pole in there and talked Mikan into performing

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal: :p


	6. Authors Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oops

Not an update but chapters might be coming a little slower because I and my consultants are lazy thots,,, thanks for coming to my TEDTalk. Btw I added chapter titles to make things easier and chapter 6 is in progress


	7. “Fashion week thanks to purgatory’s demon lord”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God but Meme: You can be fashion disasters until 10am then you will run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter yet but it only beats chapter 2 by like,,, 5 words

Thursday 2:17am

[Twink Lord has removed ‘God but Meme’ from ‘hell’]

Twink Lord: Just for the time being,,,

Twink Lord: IT’S FASHION WEEK YOU ALL HAVE TO RUN, HIDE, PREPARE,, SAVE YOURSEL-

My Little Pony™️: AAAAAAA??????

[Twink Lord has added ‘God but Meme’ to ‘hell’]

God but Meme: You have until 10am,, once that time comes you have nothing that can save you filthy sinners

Hamster Cultist: What in the name of my Four Dark Devas Of Destruction was that insufferable slamming noise?

God but Meme: Nagito’s phone. He won’t be online for today. Even he can’t save you now…..

 

Thursday 8:03am

Whiny Bitch: It seems like naggytoenail finally put on clothes instead of those gross rags

[The Gremlin Wrangler has renamed ‘The Gremlin Wrangler’ to ‘Smile for the camera (sound of gunshot)’]

Smile for the camera (sound of gunshot): This doesn’t sit well with me,,, Nagito what did he do to you? Why are you wearing that chain?

God but Meme: What were you all discussing? Hopefully it’s how gorgeously snazzy my boyfriend looks.

Game Goddess: Uhhh how did Izuru get even snazzier?

Twink Prince: OH NO

Twink Prince: OH NO NO

Twink Prince: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Twink Prince: NO NO NO NO

Twink Prince: IT CAN’T BE THIS TIME AGAIN

Twink Lord: I tried to warn you all,,, now you only have a bit less than two hours until he targets you too.

Strawberry Fanta®️: Why’d he target you first?

Twink Lord: Well you see-

Twink Prince: I’ll take a guess. They were sleeping in the same room again.

Twink Lord: ….Yeah

Twink Prince: Chiaki,, we gotta move. Come on.

Game Goddess: uhh.. aaaA-

Would fuck a serial killer: @God but Meme,, fashion me bitch

Strawberry Fanta®️: MISS SONIA NO

Would fuck a serial killer: SONIA YES

Strawberry Fanta®️: WHERE IS HE TAKING MISS SONIA?!?

Twink Lord: *Sips tea in gay* The dungeon.

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal: Kinky~

Strawberry Fanta®️: THE WHAAAAT!!?!??!!

Hamster Cultist: WHERE IS THAT OVER-GLORIFIED SINNING MOP TAKING OUR PRIZED LADY OF DARKNESS!

 

Thursday 9:35am

Strawberry Fanta®️: Miss SoniaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA!?!

God but Meme: We’re back.

Would fuck a serial killer: I don’t regret this as much as I thought I might.

Hamster Cultist: *eyes emoji* <3

Strawberry Fanta®️: <3

 

Thursday 10:00am

God but Meme: Run you foolish sinners,,, fashion week has begun 

 

Thursday 11:35am

God but Meme: Nekomaru has succumbed to fashion week. Who’s next?

God but Meme: Watch your backs. Especially *YOU* wannabe vers.

Game Goddess: Honestly,,,, he’s got a point Hajime

Twink Prince: WHY DO YOU THINK IT’S ME?!!

God but Meme: You know why, shut up bottom.

Twink Prince: HNNNNNNN

 

Thursday 12:00pm

God but Meme: Fuyuhiko and Peko have been fashioned. Mikan and Ibuki got away,,, for now.

Boss Baby: Not to alarm anyone but Peko looks hotter than usual,,, bottoms beware

My Little Pony™️: Hypocrite

Boss Baby: :/

 

Thursday 1:30pm

God but Meme: Mikan and Ibuki thought they could hide,,, Chiaki turned them all in. Those three have been styled. 

God but Meme: Hajami,,, Chiaki turned your place in as well,,, prepare yourself you closeted bottom

Twink Prince: F U C K

Twink Prince: HOW COULD YOU CHIAKI?!

Game Goddess: He offered to code me a new game. *shrug emoji*

Twink Prince: Should’ve known…

God but Meme: :}

 

Thursday 3:10pm

God but Meme: Hajime, Hiyoko, Mahiru, and Akane have been redesigned. I’m sure we can all agree Hiyoko’s new fashion is much more fitting to her personality.

Whiny Bitch: FUCK YOU 

Smile for the camera (sound of gunshot): Don’t be rude !

 

Thursday 4:20pm

Twink Lord: Blaze it

God but Meme: Quiet sub.

 

Thursday 5:40pm

God but Meme: Gundham and Kazuichi have been caught and restyled.

Strawberry Fanta®️: WHY THE DUCK DOES HE ONLY GET A REPLACEMENT COAT!??

God but Meme: He’s not the one wearing a bright yellow jumpsuit.

Strawberry Fanta®️: YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WITH JUMPSUITS?!!

 

Thursday 6:27pm

Pervert Chef: Dinner is ready in the restaurant, get over here ladies ;)

Pervert Chef: And gentlemen,, I’m not picky ;)

 

Thursday 6:40pm

Game Goddess: Hajime what are you wearing?

Twink Prince: My misery,, this is why I ran as soon as I could.

Strawberry Fanta®️: I didn't take you for a Shrek fan?

Twink Prince: I’m not,,, he uses me as his example of “Meme fashion” every fashion week

Strawberry Fanta®️: Oh….

Pervert Chef: I’m back from changing,,, holy smokes,, hot mama,, all you ladies look,, delectable ;)

Boss Baby: Fuck off if you want to keep your body parts intact

Pervert Chef: ;)

Pervert Chef: Soo,, Nagito,,, it was never explained why you’re wearing that chain ;)

Sword Babe: Are we even surprised?

My Little Pony™️: No

Twink Lord: It’s only fitting that trash like me should be wearing a chain like property-

God but Meme: Shut the fuck up you know you’re enjoying this

Absolute Unit Primary: Uhhhh…May I request you all keep your weird kinks away from the dining table?

Twink Lord: No

God but Meme: No

Twink Prince: Don’t even waste your breath

God but Meme: Shut up bottom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New outfit guide::
> 
> Izuru: Nicer cufflinks, A slightly prettier tie, and at least 8.6 (making his hight 6'6.6) inch stripper heels  
> Sonia: Her despair outfit  
> Peko: A Dominatrix outfit  
> Mikan: A really thotty red and white Nurse costume  
> Nekomaru: His despair outfit with better cufflinks  
> Byakuya: Hes already snazzy enough (He is gifted some better cufflinks though)  
> Fuyuhiko: His despair outfit with better cufflinks  
> Chiaki: An almost see-through purple cocktail dress  
> Akane: A sparkly long red high slit thotty evening gown  
> Gundham: Hes mostly already snazzy enough but he does get a fluffy ass hooded fur coat (And some new cufflinks)  
> Hiyoko: She gets a potato sack  
> Ibuki: A navy blue cat suit thats leather and hard to move in  
> Kazuichi: A pink and black tux (with hella cufflinks of course)  
> Mahiru: A plaid green lolita dress  
> Nagito: Pretty much his despair outfit (With better cufflinks)  
> Teruteru: Despair outfit  
> Hajime: Really Ugly Shrek shorts and a camo crop top


	8. “Fashion week thanks to purgatory’s demon lord: the demoning”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A really short chapter continuing a bit from last time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this being so short,, my co writer and I have been busy and stumped on the fic but I wanted to get this out here so you all know we’re not dead.

Friday 6:30am

Whiny Bitch: WHERE THE HELL ARE MY CLOTHES!?!!

God but Meme: In your drawers

Whiny Bitch: NO!! THOSE ARE FILLED WITH POTATO SACKS!

God but Meme: Exactly.

Whiny Bitch: UGHHHHHH

Twink Lord: Accept your fate

Game Goddess: Accept your fate

Twink Prince: Accept your fate

Whiny Bitch: Shut up bottom

Twink Prince: :(

Sword Babe: Could I have my normal clothes returned? Fuyuhiko, Ibuki, and Mikan can’t function with me wearing this.

God but Meme: No, suffer

Boss Baby: *Gun emoji* Say that again.

God but Meme: No, Suffer.

Strawberry Fanta®️: THIS SUIT IS SO DUCKIN UNCOMFORTABLE!! IZURU HOW DO YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?!

God but Meme: It’s a tux you uncultured swine. You must suffer until you gain enlightenment of the formal variety.

Strawberry Fanta®️: UGHHH GOD DAMN IT

God but Meme: It has been damned,, 

 

Friday 7:40am

Pervert Chef: Breakfast is ready come dig in ;)

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal: OMW !!

Absolute Unit #2: Me too!

Friday 8:20am

Twink Lord: Why did Izuru and I just see Teruteru be launched out of the restaurant?

[Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal has renamed “Absolute Unit #2” to “Buff Babe”]

Smile for the camera (sound of gunshot): He was flirting with Akane and Nekomaru sent him flying with a stronk™️ punch

God but Meme: Ahhh okay

Pervert Chef: Nagito *eyes emoji* you look a little disheveled,,, ;)

Smile for the camera (sound of gunshot): And then Izuru was the one to send Teruteru flying,,, what a day

 

Friday 12:00pm

>Peko thirst squad<  
Boss Baby: Damn Izuru,, he’s gotta make us suffer like this doesn’t he

Hella Nurse: *incoherent bi screeching*

My Little Pony™️: *yelling in lesbian*

Sword Babe: Oh gosh guys,,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With the Peko Thirst Squad’s appearance we have officially introduced private DMs to this cursed fic,, let’s see how this goes


	9. “Is banana-cannibalism called bananablism?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OwO

Saturday 3:15am

>hell<  
Hella Nurse: dickguillotine.link  
Hella Nurse: Hey Peko here it is,,

Pervert Chef: ;)

Hella Nurse: ………. F U C K. W R O N G C H A T

Twink Prince: MIKAN WHAT THE FUCK

God But Meme: Let her thirst you fucking bottom

Game Goddess: ;)

Twink Prince: C H I A K I WHAT THE FUCK

Game Goddess: ;)

Boss Baby: @Hella Nurse , @Sword Babe ,,,, What the fuck,, explain in the gc now please

Sword Babe: ….Sure

Saturday 3:24am

>Peko Thirst Squad<

Hella Nurse: Well,,, ya see…..

Sword Babe: Uhhhh…

Hella Nurse: We were discussing plans for later,,,

Sword Babe: We wanted to surprise you,,,

Boss Baby: Uh,,, okay… hmmmm…

My Little Pony™️: Stop being horny heteros I wanna sleep,,,,

 

Saturday 8:00am

>hell<

Twink Lord: Oh fucky wucky some dicky wicky OvO

Twink Prince: Why is my brother dating you?

God But Meme: OvO

Twink Prince: Oh,,, right…..

Game Goddess: Shut your fuck,, 

Game Goddess: Bottom bitch

 

Saturday 8:37am

Strawberry Fanta®️: Hiyoko just ate a banana? Is this cannibalism?!

Whiny Bitch: IM NOT A BANANA!!!

God But Meme: ...said the banana.

Whiny Bitch: Said our group chat’s resident man whore..!

Game Goddess: No that’s Nagito

Twink Lord: Yeah that’s me

Whiny Bitch: URRGHHH

Twink Lord: And here you see a frustrated banana in it’s natural habitat…

[Twink Lord has renamed ‘Whiny Bitch’ to ‘Whiny Bitchnana’]

Whiny Bitchnana: …

 

Saturday 12:0w0pm

Thicker Than A Bowl Of Oatmeal: SURFS UP MOTHERFUCKERS!!

Twink Prince: I think I speak for everyone when I ask,,, what the fuck?

Thicker Than A Bowl Of Oatmeal: We’re…. on an island…. which is surrounded by water… that we can swim in.

Boss Baby: Hajime you stupid bitch.

Twink Prince: What? Weren’t we all wondering?

Twink Lord: No? I just got done sucking Izuru off in the changing room 

Sword Babe: Should you really be so open about that?

My Little Pony™️: Izuru come get your mans

God but Meme: If I’m getting my dick sucked there is zero reason to code it

Absolute Unit Primary: I open the chat to *THIS*,,,

Absolute Unit Primary: I am disgusted,, I am revolted,, I dedicate my life to my lord and savior Usami and this is what I get

God but Meme: Shut up bottom

Absolute Unit Primary: Excuse me?

Game Goddess: You’re excused : }

Absolute Unit Primary: That’s not what I meant

Twink Lord: Too bad

Pervert Chef: Did he give good head??? ;)

God but Meme: Do you desire your dick to be intact? 

Pervert Chef: That answers that ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking so long but honestly expect horrible update times from here on out

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully I’ll be able to update this semi frequently but I’m not sure yet


End file.
